Tap into your inner sexual goddess to feel your best.
By Zachary Zane
Only a handful of people on this planet are naturally sexually confident. If you are one of those people, I applaud you. I know I didn’t wake up one more morning and say, “Yes, I’m a sexpot and my partner is lucky to have me!” It was something I actively worked on.
The thing is, sexual confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It only happens when we put in the work to learn our bodies, communicate with our partner(s), and explore new sexual adventures.
Weirdly enough, right now is actually an ideal time to build your sexual confidence. It doesn’t matter whether you’re stuck alone in quarantine or have a partner with you. You now have the time to focus on sexual pleasure and explore your body without interruptions from the usual barrage of daily tasks. So if you’re alone, I recommend taking this time to learn more about your own sexual pleasures; that way, you can feel more empowered when with a partner. Or, if you’re quarantined with a partner, go ahead and communicate your sexual desires and explore with them.
With what said, here are 4 ways to boost your sexual confidence when with someone else.
You can’t feel confident without knowing your sexual likes and dislikes because sexual confidence comes from knowledge of your own body. That’s why you should masturbate more, trying out different things solo, to learn what turns you on. Are you someone who needs clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm and not just penetration? (This is actually the case for most women!) Are there certain positions where you’re more likely to orgasm? Do you like anal stimulation? Are your nipples sensitive? Do certain sex toys lead to earth-shattering orgasms? (Psst – try the sleek and silent vibe in the High On Love Objects of Desire set.) Have you been watching different types of porn and found yourself aroused by something unexpected? Once you have the answers to these questions, you will feel more confident in bed because you’ll be able to do (and tell your partner) exactly what it is that you find pleasurable.
Wear Something Sexy
It’s incredible how something seemingly so simple — so insignificant — can help you feel more empowered in the bedroom. Wearing sexy lingerie, your favorite bra, or lace panties is as much for your partner as it is for yourself. Not to sound shallow, but when you look good, you often feel good. When you look sexy, you feel more confident. Also, when your partner sees you and gives you that “Wow, you look stunning,” you’ll feel even more confident.
Communicate Your Desires
It’s necessary to have a clear line of communication with your partner in order to feel sexually confident. Before having sex, tell your partner how turned on you get when they do X, Y, or Z. Sex isn’t fun when it’s a guessing game. It’s fun when your partner does exactly what it is that you like. If there are certain things that you really don’t want your partner to do, just let them know. Note that this conversation doesn’t have to kill the mood. You can actually ask and answer these questions in a way that’s arousing. You can say, “So… I really like it when you touch me like this” and then show him how and where you like to be touched.
Laugh and Have Fun
We often think of sex as being this super serious thing, but really, it should be fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right. Sometimes, embarrassing things happen during sex. This happens to all of us. Sex is hardly ever as seamless as mainstream movies make it appear. Just laugh. Enjoy it. And if things don’t go according to plan this time, remember there’s always next time, so don’t sweat it.